Eberron Quotes

Digital Changeling > Gaming > Quotes > Eberron Quotes

Back in late 2004 and early 2005 I played in the official Eberron campaign, as run by Michael Zenke. Even when the writing was a bit lax, I still loved the game. Sadly it was put on hiatus and there is no sign of it starting back up any time soon.

If you want to know more about the characters or the game you can go read Alan's notes and in character journal entries.

Other than Andy Netzel, Joe is definitely the funniest guy I know. I've never seen Joe and Andy in the same game, and frankly, I'm afraid of what would happen.

The Quotes:


2/21/05

"Are you attacking the halfling or the pterasaur?"
~ Michael
"I'm attacking the halfling. Pterasaurs don't launch javelins, I hope."
~ Eva
"Didn't you know that pterasaurs have breath weapon javelin?"
~ Alan

"Have they actually attacked us yet?"
~ Eva
"No, they haven't attacked us."
~ Alan
"In a hail of javelins, they attack you."
~ Michael
"Do you ever get tired of being wrong, Thayden?"
~ Joe

"You are made of crackers!"
~ Joe, while casting inflict serious damage into another war-forged

"THE MASON JARS ARE HERMETICALLY SEALED! DON'T YOU SEE?!?"
~ Michael, randomly

"People weren't allergic to peanuts in the past."
~ Joe

2/10/05

"What's wrong with her dress?"
~ Alan
"It shows off all her human baggy things and disgusting fleshy bits."
~ Joe

"I mean I don't like like him, but I don't want him to not want to have sex with me either."
~ Abby

"The dark lanterns, an organization founded by people who didn't really understand the purpose of a lantern."
~ Alan

1/20/05

"The Haunted Werewolf? What, its colon is haunted?"
~ Joe

"I'm tired. Joe doesn't have an excuse."
~ Abby

1/13/05

"Do they eat food pellets?"
~ Abby
"No! They're not gerbils they're gnomes!"
~ Michael

12/30/04

"I'll do without a blade. Because they can't take my faith from me."
~ Alan

"And it's radiating stuff..."
~ Abby
"Like evil?"
~ Alan
"... like lines."
~ Abby

12/16/04

"No! I want to find out about my sword. Kill him afterwards."
~ Abby

"She's the madam of the sweet goblin poon brothel."
~ Alan

12/9/04

"The untouchable trio plus one!"
~ Alan
"The awesome robot and the three meat bags!"
~ Joe

"But what every you do, don't do that thing that really pisses him off."
~ Joe

"You have no respect for your elders who aren't dead."
~ Eva

"I've got the ink and parchment. I start making flyers advertising sweet horse poon."
~ Joe
"What are you on?!? What's wrong with you?!? You can't turn everything into a whore!"
~ Michael
"Actually, evidence says he can."
~ Alan

"That's a very strange and anachronistic name you have there Kristopher."
~ Joe
"Bite me."
~ Michael

11/29/04

"Oh, wait a minute, molten glass-apult?"
~ Joe

"That's no fair, we never get to crit. on anything... Give us things with organs to fight!"
~ Joe

"Across the room a metal door appears to have been melted into slag."
~ Michael
"Can I wear my water-skin?"
~ Abby

"I don't know. I think some times I have a hard time telling the difference of cartoons and not cartoons."
~ Abby

"I love drugs, they're delicious."
~ Joe

"Maybe there's a special surprise there."
~ Abby
"Like a sphere of annihilation?"
~ Eva
"... or candy..."
~ Abby

"Lets not fight the orb of death unless we have to, wink, wink."
~ Joe

11/15/04

"Even at summon monster two you're looking at barn owls of fierceness."
~ Michael

"I don't have a wang."
~ Joe
"I thought you had an attachment socket, wait, doesn't that mean you're a girl robot?"
~ Alan

"That depends, are you a warforged?... Are you some sort of elf golem?"
~ Joe, after Alan asked if Joe's warforged mage-thing could heal his elf

11/11/04

"It has three more eyes?!?"
~ Abby about the corpse crab we are fighting
"Yes, it does."
~ Michael
"Oh my god, why are we here?"
~ Abby, who then hides under her coat

"At one point you realize that there are ruined symbols of... that one guy..."
~ Michael
"Bob, the god of stuff?"
~ Joe

11/3/04

"Can I roll knowledge religion [in order to guess more about the mysterious man]?"
~ Alan
"Yea, sure."
~ Michael
"*rolls dice* Uh... 7?"
~ Alan
"He looks sorta dead."
~ Michael

"Make me a move silently check."
~ Michael
"*rolls dice* *squeek* ... I got an 8..."
~ Eva
"You stealthily make your way down the hill."
~ Michael
"You trip on the bell factories."
~ Joe

"No, I'm going to flank him... and next round I'm going to touch his butt."
~ Joe, after charging up a shocking grasp in his arm

"I'm trying to decide between the celestial giant fire beetle and the porpoise."
~ Alan, about summoning something in the middle of a forest to help fight the hell hound.