Back in 2004 I played in a fourteen month long D20 Modern campaign called Pax Artificium. It was run by my friend Curtis. It was an amazing game which had three parties (and about 18 players) by the finale. I'm still not sure how Curtis survived it. ~_^
If you want to know more about the characters or the game you can go read the official Pax website.
The Quotes:
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
I'm a ransom demand, go me!
~ John
I'm overwhelming you with biblical bullshit!
~ Curtis
Its just a bunch of zeros that are ready to launch themselves at anything nearby.
~ Jon
If you don't know where I am, please don't perforate the creature.
~ Jon (after his character was swallowed by a monster)
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
I see, she'll heal them to death and you can destroy them back to life!
~ Nate about Sara and Josef trading roles
I wouldn't indiscriminately murder your character. There would be a dialogue before hand.
~ Nate about killing Josef
Depends, how does your nome smell like?
~ the Psedo Druid
I don't know, I don't sniff my nome often.
~ Nate
I always have disintegration ray ready, because disintegration is good for everything!
~ Nate
6/16/04
"Are you leaving the helicopter?"
~ Curtis
"If I get a God kill? Sure."
~ Jon
"That begs the question, would Rex [the were-wolf] find furries to be disturbing, perverted people?"
~ Eva
"Yea, but for different reasons. In the end they're the same as everyone else."
~ Paul
"Edible?"
~ Eva
"Yes."
~ Paul
"Gerald would practice non-lethal force in this situation."
~ Nate
"Rex would practice gluttony in this situation."
~ Paul
"Does that mean I can heal him to death?"
~ Eva
"Yes, please do, with our permission."
~ Nate
"Somebody just throw a phoenix down at him!"
~ Nate
"God couldn't bless me if he tried. He doesn't have a high enough caster level."
~ Nate
"Gustav was only a couple of steps from 'Sieg Heil'."
~ Nate
"If only I were twice as wide I could have given Sartus and Benic full cover."
~ Nate
"Why are we getting screwed on the helicopter?"
~ Nate
"Which group has the chocobo?"
~ Paul
"And God said, 'Let there be zeros,' and it was good."
~ Nate
"Screw you Jesus-boy! I'm not evil!"
~ James
"Do I hear him? Does he make a sound? Does he fall in a forest?"
~ Paul, about hearing our resident super hero, Speed Demon
"Er, wait. All my characters together are Van Helsing..."
~ Paul
6/2/04
"Alright who's up for some priest kebabs?"
~ Nate
"Dude! Pepto-Bismal is the anti-backlash. We've been missing this all the time!"
~ Paul
"Pax Artificium is a modern day Babylon."
~ James
3/24/04
"Generally, paying off the hit man is a good idea."
~ Eva
"In Griffin's game I'm the power of lost things."
~ Nate
"... You have a lot of virginity."
~ Eva
"Are the phones working?"
~ Nate
"Do you have one?"
~ Curtis
"Yes, in my head."
~ Nate
"You try to access your head..."
~ Curtis
"How many hit points do you have?"
~ Nate
"Several..."
~ Paul
"Several?"
~ Nate
"Lots."
~ Paul
"The magic vacuum cleaner hand."
~ Paul
"Ooooooommmmhhh..."
~ Jon
"Is there some thing in here I'm supposed to see?"
~ Curtis, as the NPC Bishop
"No, there's something in here I don't want you to see."
~ Paul
"I see."
~ Curtis, as the NPC Bishop
"I'm going to fly off and get something to eat."
~ James
"Why? We have plenty in the bath tub..."
~ Paul
"This is when you shove him off the balcony."
~ Paul
"I can fly! What the hell are you thinking!"
~ James
"I think you're a bit out gunned with this ninja."
~ James
"Well, she is a woman."
~ Paul
"I was going to say, you'd have to see her coming..."
~ James
"Must... get... mind out of gutter..."
~ Jon
"I didn't threaten your life. I just asked if he wanted you dead."
~ Paul
"You shouldn't eat stuff like that. It's a vileness on the world."
~ Curtis, as the NPC Siren
"Wow, you just ate Paradox!"
~ Nate
"You guys have a lot of plot-device-ium. I'm not sure what you guys are going to do with it."
~ Curtis
"I forge it into a weapon!"
~ Jon
"I love how you warn the NPC's but not us..."
~ Eva
"I didn't want to drink the elf juice, I wanted to drink Pax, I mean NO!"
~ Jon
3/10/04
"It's raining evil from heaven!"
~ Nate, after Jon's character fell from a vortex in the sky
"Mr. Bishop, you need to calm down. It's not nice to tear the fabric of reality."
~ Jon, deadpan
"Mr. Bishop, don't worry. He's a good dog!"
~ Nate, referring to the were-wolf
"If you believe in pixies, get your gun."
~ Nate
"I jump on him and tear his throat out."
~ Paul
"Fortunatly, being a dwarf, he as at least five back up throats."
~ Curtis
"No more violence! For once can we just talk?"
~ Eva
"I'm cool with the violence."
~ Paul
"Yea, I shoot her."
~ Jon
"I'm going to tear my shirt the rest of the way off..."
~ Paul, after his character transformed
"The world does not acknowledge my dark power!"
~ Jon
"I do. It annoys me."
~ Eva
"Yea, the six million dollar half elf..."
~ James
"What does she do?"
~ Jon, asking about Nix
"She's the bitch-queen of the forest."
~ Paul
"I got that, but what does she _do_?"
~ Jon
"The dog is fetching a cab."
~ Nate, teasing Paul
"Look, I don't want to kill you... So I'm going to let him [Jon's character] if I have to."
~ Paul, to an NPC
"I like being a were-wolf! This is frikken fun!"
~ Paul
2/25/04
"He's insane cubed!"
~ Nate, about the npc priest
"It's painful."
~ James, about magical backlash
"Well if feeling like nightmares is painful..."
~ Curtis
"It tastes like burning."
~ Paul
"Meanwhile all the real threats are coming to kill you."
~ Curtis
"You know what, I parry with the druid."
~ Jon
"The glove does not fit, you see, the glove does not fit... because I have new hands."
~ Nate, teasing Jon
"Cyber-dwarf vs. the Wolf-man!"
~ Curtis
"What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of your hands falling off!"
~ James
"Were-elf? During the full moon your ears get pointy?"
~ Nate
"Shit! I bit the priest didn't I?"
~ Paul, who's playing a were-wolf
"If there's a were-priest running around Pax, we're coming after YOU, super-boy."
~ Jon, to James
"You're in your basement and it's like: pickles, relish, hands of evil..."
~ Curtis
"Way to get fucked by a ghost."
~ Nate
"Lycanthropy isn't an STD, is it?"
~ James
"It is if you nibble."
~ Eva
"Why does everything bad happen to us?"
~ Eva
"The priest told James' character."
~ Curtis
"I was gonna tell you, but I had to work."
~ James
"Anything that makes you pissed is funny."
~ Curtis to Jon
2/11/04
"Knowing my luck I'll call just in time to be too late."
~ Eva
"I need to take one more level of Negotiator."
~ Jon
"What!? You mean you're going to take a level of Negotiator instead of of a level of evil?!"
~ Nate
"It's like diablerie."
~ Nate, on the subject of getting another character's action points when you kill them
"Don't randomly change his gender!"
~ Jon, referring to Paul's PC
"I'm in charge?"
~ Nate
"You got promoted."
~ Curtis
"Claymores for everyone!"
~ Nate
"You know Jon, when the prophet calls you and tells you it's a setup, you should listen!"
~ Eva
"I feel a strange disturbance in the force..."
~ Paul
"... oops, that's my pager."
~ Jon
"Wait, what happend to me?!?"
~ Nate, after the caravan he was escorting disappears
"You're just driving along and... you're gone."
~ Curtis
"I wanna be back!"
~ Nate
"I'm having 'Nam flashbacks!"
~ Nate
"So what is everyone doing?"
~ Curtis
"I'm killing everyone!"
~ angry Nate
"You know what needs to die? All pixies. Know what I need? A sausage grinder."
~ Nate
"You might want to keep those hands. They're made of plot-device-ium."
~ Paul
"I'll reforge them into weapons that don't stop working when they enter bullshit fields."
~ Jon
"Plot-device-ium is like methane; it's odorless, tasteless, and can kill you."
~ Jon
12/6/03
"I wonder if we could make pixie dust out of their bones."
~ Nate
"On the rare occasion when my character is not increadably useless, he becomes very powerful. But that happens like once a month."
~ Lucas
"Really? You have that time of the month too?"
~ Eva
"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to go with neutral bastard."
~ Kelsey, on the alignment of some of the npc's
"I was so expecting to fall to my knees in prayer and break both hips."
~ Lucas
"Jesus would be a monkey."
~ Lucas (I still have no idea what he meant)
"Kitten of thermite! I like that!"
~ Kyle
"Now I know who the voice of the goddess is."
~ Lucas
"Me?"
~ Kelsey
"No."
~ Lucas
"But I'm so pretty..."
~ Kelsey
"So now Noj has to see if he can catch it [the amulet]. *rolls dice* And he rolls a natural one. It smacks him in the face and falls on the ground."
~ Curtis when Noj tries to steal the amulet with magic
"People would get to do stuff normally, but you guys have just suffered a major religious experience."
~ Curtis
"Heroically turning into anvils since 1981."
~ Curtis
"I think that the heroic, contemplative anvil should counter the doughnuts of existential dread."
~ Lucas
"Anvils are very zen."
~ Eva
"No, must feed hot pineapple death..."
~ Nate
"My character doesn't concentrate. He feeds thermite grenades to gnomes."
~ Nate
"You feel all your powers combine, but not like Captain Planet."
~ Curtis
"Twenty three wound damage."
~ Curtis
"Twenty three wound damage? I just kick him off me."
~ Nate, proving that dwarves are far too durable
"You coup-de-grace him with the energy rifle. He's dust."
~ Curtis
"Using the MagiTec Nifty Keen(TM) technology..."
~ Curtis
"You get an action point for absorbing the amulet and becoming an awesome new ruler of MagiTec."
~ Curtis, to Kelsey
"ruler... twelve inches long..."
~ Lucas, in a super-high-pitched voice